Writing Prompt #7 How do you connect with God amid chaos or "wilderness" times of your life?

 Blank Slate

Part of the Lenten discipline

Is to ask for the forgiveness of sins

Make of me a blank slate

For blessings

And to better hear the Word of God.

But

Try as I might

I could never be a blank slate

Completely forgiven

When I was a kid

And the pastor (actually, he was also my Dad) would say “Your sins are forgiven”

My brain would immediately say “shit” or “damn” right away

Being a blank slate made me nervous

Unlike others who aspire to it

I’ve tried to just be godly in my mess

A disciple with “shit” on her slate

Because it will appear there eventually anyway

And I didn’t want to be disappointed

Make God disappointed

I will try my best to live this one life that I have

Given to me

In the dust

The mess

That never seems to go away

Because I am made of mess

of stardust

~RH